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The Right Way To Slide Into Her DMs (Do’s And Don’ts)

Disclaimer: Listen, women want to want you. We want to crave you, desire you. So to make it easy for you I included links to books and products that are highly rated to help you get what you want. 😉 Therefore, as an Amazon affiliate I earn on qualifying purchases. This means I earn a small (yes women can work with small) commission on purchases made through my links. Thank you!

If you’re genuinely interested in getting to know a woman and you don’t want to come off as a creep, a sleaze, or just plain desperate, here’s what you do (and don’t do) when sliding into her DMs.

And keep reading for bonus tips (and secrets) on how to stand out and impress her on the first few dates. 

Good luck out there 😉! 

What it means to side into someones dms. Sliding into her dms smoothly. Desiree clemons. Tips on how to slide into dms correctly, what to say when sliding into someones dms

Should I Slide Into Her DMs? Is It Even Ok? 

Sure it is. It’s modern-day networking. Plus, your chances of crossing paths in public may be slim to none. But let’s be real, there is a high chance of rejection, and for good reasons. 

Most women may automatically reject your direct messages because:

  1. She could view it as catcalling
  2. She may be in a relationship
  3. She’s cautious of strangers online (we’ve had bad experiences) 

Although we know that not every guy that may message us is a creep, some men are and it can be very difficult to tell the difference. 

That is why it is your job to say the correct things to make her feel comfortable enough to respond. 

You can start slow by reacting and commenting to her posts before messaging her. This will automatically get her attention because you’re publically giving your attention to her. And we low-key love this!

But when you’re ready to message her, what do you even say?

Pre-Gaming before Dming

Sliding into someone’s DM’s is like navigating a minefield blindfolded. One wrong step, and boom! You’re ghosted faster than you can say, “Oops, wrong chat!” 

Let’s face it, trying to ignite a spark in the DMs can feel a bit like a wasted effort. 

But why do you do it? Because amidst the digital chaos, there’s a sliver of hope for genuine connection, a chance to say, “Hey, I’m not just another basic dude scrolling through social media while taking a shit.” 

See, the key to sliding into her DM’s is to stand out. Because if you think she’s gorgeous, interesting, or worthy to follow, then you’re probably not the only one sliding into her DM’s, bro. 

But dont worry I’ll show you how to stand out and increase your chances of getting a reply.

But before we dive headfirst into the dos and don’ts, let’s set the stage with a little heart-to-heart. 

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is NOT to master the art of the smooth slide or rack up your numbers. No, you’re here to champion the cause of respectful, genuine connections in a world where “You up?” is considered a boyish move. 

Real women want a real man, so save the hookup texts for Tinder.

So buckle up and let’s start with the do’s the don’ts, and then some examples.

And read the first date bonuses at the end. (You went through all that hard work to message her, dont blow your chances on the first date.)

1. The Do’s For Sliding Into Her DM’s …Smoothly

Research Before You Reach Out

Before you even think about sliding into those DMs, do a bit of light stalking—I mean, research. It’s essential to know a little bit about her interests, but don’t get carried away. 

Seeing her post about her vegan lifestyle isn’t your cue to send a photo series of your weekend barbecue. Just because you think it may be funny. She’ll likely be turned off. 

Make sure you can answer these questions before hitting send:

  • Is she single?
  • What is at least one thing she’s into?
  • Does she seem real? (don’t get scammed)

And remember to be respectful. We NEVER want 🍆 pics.

Personalize Your Opening Line

Think of your first message as you’re one and only shot to make a lasting impression. You want your first message to be intriguing, captivating, and memorable.

Starting with “Hey” or “Hi” is the conversational equivalent of watching paint dry. It’s boring.

We get these messages a lot and it screams to us that you’re just another basic broh, not worthy to waste time on. 

Instead, show that you’ve paid attention to her interests. We went over this in the previous step, are you paying attention?

Here’s an example:

If she posted about loving classic movies, don’t just say, “I like movies too.” Maybe try, “Just saw your post about Casablanca, and now I’m convinced we might have the same Netflix list. What’s your favorite classic?” This shows effort and genuine interest, two keys to unlocking a meaningful exchange. 

Remember, you’re aiming for a connection, not a snooze fest.

Timing is Everything

When it comes to sending that first message, timing is crucial. There’s a fine line between being prompt and being a vampire. Sending messages during reasonable hours shows you respect her time (and her sleep schedule). 

Unless you both work late, avoid messaging at times when even the owls are asleep. You want to come across as considerate, not like you’re broadcasting a late-night infomercial that no one asked for.

Use Humor Sparingly

Humor in your opening message is like salt in cooking: the right amount can enhance the flavor, but too much, and you’ve ruined the dish. 

A witty remark can break the ice, but remember, what’s funny to you might be puzzling to her. 

Remember you dont know her sense of humor yet so try to keep any responses light and relatable. 

If you’re making a joke, ensure it’s something that won’t require a five-minute explanation. After all, you’re trying to spark interest, not confusion. Think of humor as the sprinkle, not the whole seasoning rack. 

By following these guidelines, you’re not just sliding into DMs; you’re gliding in with style, humor, and a touch of sophistication, and that is hot! ( yes I said that in my Paris Hilton voice)

Now, let’s move on to navigating the treacherous waters of what not to do, shall we?

2. The Don’ts When Sliding Into Her DM’s

Now you should have some idea of what to do, but we’re not dont yet. Here are the cardinal sins to avoid if you want to really stand out.

Avoid Creepy Compliments and Unwarranted Pics

Starting off with, “Hey beautiful, your eyes are like the ocean I want to swim in,” might sound poetic in your head, but it lands somewhere between “creepy” and “restraining order”. 

Compliments are nice, but diving straight into physical flattery is like serving dessert before the appetizer—it’s just too much too soon. We’ll think you’re just after sex and question how much you respect women. 

Stick to non-physical compliments if you must compliment. For example, “Hey, I noticed you’re really into [hobby], and that’s pretty cool.”

 It shows interest without making her feel like she’s under a microscope, or worse just another one of your conquests.

*And if you must send a pic, make sure it’s a gif or funny meme, not what’s in your pants. 

Again, We NEVER want 🍆 pics!

No Spamming

If your message didn’t get a response the first time, sending five more variations of “Hey, did you see my message?” isn’t going to charm her.

It’s the digital equivalent of following someone around at a party after they’ve made it clear they’re not interested in talking. It’s not persistent; it’s pestering.

Remember, if she’s interested, she’ll reply. If she doesn’t, it’s not an invitation to start a one-sided conversation.

What it means to side into someones dms. Sliding into her dms smoothly. Desiree clemons. Tips on how to slide into dms correctly, what to say when sliding into someones dms

Here’s my general rule. Double texting is fine, hey we get busy and maybe she genuinely did forget. If you must send a follow-up text. Make it light and funny so you dont sound desperate.

Allow Her Time To Respond

Give her space and time. Maybe she’s crafting the perfect response, or perhaps she’s just not that into you. Either way, patience is a virtue, not a vice.

The Screenshot Trap

In the age of screenshots, remember that anything you send can and will be used in the court of public opinion. Before hitting send on that quirky, flirty message, ask yourself, “Would I be okay with this being posted on a public forum?” If the answer is no, you might want to backspace a few times. It’s the internet’s version of Miranda rights—anything you say can be screenshotted and shared.

By steering clear of these pitfalls, you ensure that your foray into DMs is more “smooth operator” and less “comedy of errors.”

Remember, the goal is to make a connection, not to become the next viral meme (for the wrong reasons). Proceed with caution, humor, and a healthy dose of common sense.

3. Sample Conversations: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Navigating the DMs can be a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions. 

To illustrate this, let’s take a look at three hypothetical DM slides: one that’s smooth and savvy (The Good), one that’s a bit misguided (The Bad), and one that’s a train wreck in slow motion (The Ugly). 

The Good DM’s Women Like

You: Noticed your marathon post. Running 26.2 miles? That’s impressive! Any tips for a hopeful half-marathoner?

Them: Thanks! Absolutely, happy to share. Are you training for a race?

You: Yep, aiming for the city half-marathon next spring. Would love any advice you have.

What it means to side into someones dms. Sliding into her dms smoothly. Desiree clemons. Tips on how to slide into dms correctly, what to say when sliding into someones dms

Why It Works: This DM works wonders because it starts with a genuine compliment based on a shared interest, inviting a natural and easy conversation. It’s personalized, shows you’ve done your homework, and opens the door for more than just a one-time exchange.

The Bad DM’s That Make Her Confused

You: Hey! So… you like food, huh? Me too.

Them: Uh, yeah… who doesn’t?

You: Right? So what’s your favorite food? 

Them: [Seen]

What it means to side into someones dms. Sliding into her dms smoothly. Desiree clemons. Tips on how to slide into dms correctly, what to say when sliding into someones dms

Where It Went Wrong: This conversation starter is as bland as unsalted crackers. It lacks personalization and shows a lack of effort in trying to engage in a meaningful way. It’s based on a universal interest (food) but fails to dive deeper into something specific, making it forgettable.

The Ugly DM’s We Ignore

You: Hey sexy, I can tell from your pics that we have a lot in common 😉 Wanna hang out?

Them: I’m sorry, do I know you?

You: Not yet, but I feel like we’re meant to be. You, me, dinner?

Them: [No response]

You: Hello???

You: You’re missing out 😏

Them: Please stop messaging me.

What it means to side into someones dms. Sliding into her dms smoothly. Desiree clemons. Tips on how to slide into dms correctly, what to say when sliding into someones dms

Why It’s a Disaster: This is a prime example of what not to do. It starts with inappropriate flattery, makes unwarranted assumptions, and continues to push boundaries even after a clear lack of interest. It’s invasive, presumptuous, and a surefire way to end up blocked.

The Moral Of Sliding Into Her DM’s

The key to a successful DM slide is to be respectful, show genuine interest, and treat her like a human being, not just a potential date. It’s about finding common ground and building from there. 

Remember, the goal is to start a conversation, not to alienate or creep someone out.

Keep it classy, keep it respectful, and who knows? Your DM might just be the start of something special.

Bonus First Date Tips That Will Impress Her

  • Ask questions about her. 
  • Compliment her outfit always. Even if she isn’t dressed in glam, I’m sure she put more thought into her outfit than you realize. 
  • Choose the restaurant. If youre confused, you can ask her but she might say she doesn’t know. Just pick a TGIF, Applebees, or Chili’s type of place. If she complains, consider it a red flag and proceed with caution.
  • Always pay for the first and probably the second date too. It’s about you showing her that you value her time and effort. It also says you can effectively lead. If money is an issue for you and you’re not comfortable about splitting the bill by date three, make plans for a cheap but thoughtful date like a nature walk or ice cream. 
  • Dress clean. I dont know why so many men ignore this. Seriously DO NOT show up in a wrinkled t-shirt smelling b.o. rocking a ketchup stain from lunch. Gross! Show her that you’re a grown man and can wipe your own ass. Wear clean clothes and comb your hair. And if you smell good, mmmm she’ll definitely remember. Check out Dr Sasquatch Soap. 12k reviews can’t be wrong Dr. Sasquatch products on Amazon here.
  • Be on time, if you’re going to be late, text her and apologize and tell her the reason why.
  • Show off in the right way. Dont be too braggy but if you’re generally skilled at something, be sure to mention it. 
  • Show you’re intelligent and socially aware by talking about a cause you’re passionate about. If you need some motivation, self-awareness or personal growth is always sexy.

Bonus Secrets

Here’s What Is Happening After You Message Her

If she thinks you’re attractive, or not, she will check out your profile and vet you before responding. Yes, she’s looking at your pics, your exes, political posts, memes, etc. Essentially she’s trying to gauge if you seem interesting enough to message back, and trying to understand your true intentions. 

This is why it’s crucial to keep a clean and respectful profile. Too many pictures of your ex and she’ll assume she’s a rebound or you haven’t moved on. 

And be mindful, that she may be thinking that if you messaged her, you’ve probably messaged a bunch of other women too. Do your best to ease her anxieties during the messaging phase and definitely after if youve hit it off, because she will never forget. 

She Will Never Forget

Let’s say you’ve taken my advice, and you successfully messaged your crush and now you two are dating. Congratulations, but keep this in mind: At some point, a woman you follow (or are friends with), will like or comment on one of your posts or photos. The woman you’re dating will think back to how you got her…

And she’ll assume you message women secretly and will question your actions and intentions. If you aren’t messaging another woman, be respectful and clear in your communication. If you are messaging other women, still be respectful and honest. Just expect a fight or a break-up.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it, and if youre interested in 30 NON-CREEPY messages to send read this article on Buslte here.

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